In case you didn’t catch it from my first post, I don’t really date. As in, I don’t really date AT ALL. Again, it’s not that I don’t want find someone to fall in love with. Or even that I want to piss off my mother (which sometimes seems like a good enough reason). It’s that I don’t want to find someone to fall in love with right now.
Over the past few years, I’ve floated between different cities and different states, not having lived longer than two years in any one city since I was in high school. My longest stint at employment is now with a whopping 14 months, and I’m about ready to just walk out. I have commitment issues, and I’m a free spirit. My greatest fear is meeting a guy I’d be forced (read: would actually want) to stick around for. And, just for full disclosure, I was also dumped hard. Three and a half years down the drain with click of a text message.
That all being said. I don’t hate men. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. Enter my slew of gentlemen friends:
The Hot & Bothered Hookup
I’m not kidding when I say “Hot and Bothered” (unfortunately). This guy… oh man… he’s like my Achilles heel. We banter. We bicker. We get under each other’s skin. There are probably thousands reasons why he’s a BAD idea*, but even that doesn’t seem to be reason enough to just say no. Fortunately, I’m over my “OMG I’m like you so much” phase, and I can focus my efforts on just having some hot & bothered fun 😉
* There will most likely be more on that later
The Closest Thing I Have to an Actual Boyfriend — Good Thing He’s 1700 Miles Away
Yes, such a guy exists. The kind of guy I’d actually consider dating (though I’m pretty sure that I’d find a way to royally fuck it up). We talk all day every day, and we’ve been talking all day every day since I bumped him to him the last time I was home. We’ve known each other since high school, so I guess some would say it’s almost kind of cute. Either way, he’s the last person I talk to at night and if it weren’t for the time difference, he’d be the first person I talk to in the morning.
The 50 Shades of Grey
Oh, Mr. 50. I can only imagine how he could rock my world in between the sheets, or really anywhere. Alas, it’s true — I haven’t actually done the dirty with him. We just have this hot, hot story of a blow job in a hotel stairwell. He’s man who knows what he wants. A man who isn’t afraid to take charge (which I’m perfectly all right with). He’s also got a decent sense of humor. So, of course, we’ve kept in touch post-Holiday (I mean, in all honesty, I couldn’t let a dick like his walk out of my life) and occasionally touch base on upcoming travel plans… and sext. Needless to say, I cannot wait for the next time our paths cross.
So there you have it. My backwards, non-sensical, perfectly un-normal love life written into cyberspace. But, hey, I’ve got time to kill and drinks to drink, so this list is ever changing. Round and round we go, where it stops nobody knows, right?