Foreign Affairs

In just seven days and some odd hours, I’ll be leaving on a jet plane for my Thanksgiving abroad. Had I still been not single, I would have tried (most likely, unsuccessfully) to spend as much time with B as I could muster before saying our fair wells for the week. Now that I am single, however, I’m responding to OkCupid messages (yes, I may have responded to Mr. Sincerely-your-ex-hubby… more on that later), signing up for Grouper and just trying to positively envision my life as a single gal once more. 

I’m thinking about … 

  • Dusting off / reworking my sex bucket list (more on this later)
  • Reading all those cheesy (or not cheesy and perhaps potentially informative) dating books
  • Walking up to strangers at bar with a new found vigor 

Annnnnnd….

  • The possibility of a hot and heavy travel fling

Sadly — I’ve been googling “travel fling”, “travel romance”, “travel sex” for more time than I’ve spent writing this post. I’ve found nothing good. No helpful hints. No juicy stories. Nothing. 

Which is, I suppose, is normal. You can’t really develop a game plan for steamy travel agendas. Well, ok, you could, but that’s kind of creepy at the same time. 

Nevertheless, I am crossing my fingers that exchange glances with sexy smoldering European man (or two) from across the bar. In a typical romance movie fashion, he would casually get up and walk towards me, never looking away. Drinks. Laughter. The works would soon ensue. SAWOOOOOOOON. 

Ok — maybe I got a little ahead of myself, but I think you get the point 😉

Online Dating: Not my Cup of Tea

First of all, I do realize that I am a mere 36 hours (give or take) out of my relationship – quasi as it be – and dating / jumping into bed with anyone right now may not be the best idea.

I realize this, I do.

But, that doesn’t mean it’s not too early to start the preliminary search. Unfortunately, the preliminary search for me, at least, is NOT online dating. I’ve tried it once; I’ve tried it a million time. The guys I connect with are just NOT what I’m looking for:

  • They’re based out of the burbs (ew)
  • They’re babies/youngins (ew)
  • They’re only after sex (not horrible, but so not worth the effort. Heeeelllllo, bar down the street!)

I know that a new guy is the last thing I need right now, but seriously, are these my options? I’m a firm believer in trying everything once, but online dating is just NOT it.

In case you’re wondering, I stick to OKcupid for the most part– it’s free. And with free comes a long list of pros and cons. Primarily for me, its a major con: matchups that just won’t work out. In other words: Go home, OKCupid; you’re drunk!

I honestly prefer meeting people IRL. I’ve tried time and time again to make online dating work to no avail. I can find jobs online, not my men.

On that note, however, I do leave for a European vacation in a week…. fingers crossed that i find myself a vacation rendevouz (or two?!)

Was it a Date? Was it Not a Date?

Apparently I suck at blogging just as much as I suck at online dating. Yea, that whole Match.com experiment has gotten me nowhere. I have no desire to put in the time or effort, so no wonder things like Match.com or even OkCupid have never worked.

Interestingly enough though, I did actually chat to guy for a tick from Tinder… the Hot or Not type dating app. I’m one interesting cookie, I know.

I suppose that, in some ways, you could say I’ve had a lull for content. But in other ways, I haven’t. What I’m trying to say is that last night, I may or may not have had a date. I’m still not sure. I don’t date. It’s outside of my realm of expertise (no really, I wasn’t kidding when I said that I don’t date. I don’t.)

What I do know is this:

  1. He said he wanted to take me out to dinner* but actually made the plans via text.
  2. He was about 10 minutes late.
  3. He picked me up (but then we walked to the restaurant from my house).
  4. We sat at the crappy restaurant talking for a few hours.
  5. He paid.
  6. There was never a lull in the conversation.
  7. We had a good time.
  8. We hugged goodnight.
  9. There was no hint of a second date update.

* After making a drunken ass fool of himself.

To make matters worse, HowAboutWe.com’s 5 Signs It’s Not a Date article was no help:

  1. They bring a friend. No.
  2. They don’t offer to pay/let you pay. No.
  3. They talk about their love life. No.
  4. They’re relaxed around you… a little too relaxed. Eh?
  5. You Don’t Know if They’re Interested at the End. Very much so.

Thanks for that, How About We. Lot’s of help.

Regardless of if it was or wasn’t, I was more excited about than I’d like to admit. That being said, if it wasn’t/nothing comes of it, I won’t be devastated. He’s a fun guy, a Southern Gentleman, but I’m in no rush. But, yes, if he were to ask again, I’d probably say yes (Don’t tell my mother).

And so, I leave you now with a little poll. Do your worst:

Drinking the Online Dating Kool Aid

If my sexploration history says anything, it’s that I have a very alcohol-driven approach to guys. Don’t get me wrong, I’m totally fine with it. But today, when perusing the daily deal sites, I stumbled across a deal for Match.com. So I figured why not.

I mean, I’ll always be in need of new material for this bad boy anyway 🙂

That being said, I’m also on OKCupid… and well… that’s gotten me nowhere. But let’s be real, OKCupid is totallllllly a hookup site. With that in mind, putting that much effort into a booty call is kind of a waste.

Since I’m not well versed (at all) in online dating, I turned to the world wide web for some interesting finds:

  • Selfies? Not so much. Apparently you are 6x less likely to have your profile viewed if you have a selfie as a your profile pic. 
  • Don use no good grmmr. Ur odds of gittin a rsp r 20 pct higher if u use gud grmm #gofig
  • Out of all the profiles made in 2009, 10 percent of them were fake.
  • And that both men and women are really just looking for the same thing: a sense of humor (1), chemistry (2) and affectionate.

So now it’s time to dive into the ever fascinating word of online dating profiles. Wish me luck!