November started a week ago. In the last eight days, I think I’ve blogged more than I ever had in the entirety of this here blog. But then again, two weeks into starting this here project, I started seeing B. So my promiscuous-isms were forced to take a step back over the last six months.
Now, I’m on the eve of possibly being single again (read: I should dump his ass, but still care just enough that it makes the decision tough), I’m trying to figure out the direction I want to take L&OT. Where do I want to go with it? What do I want to do with it?
Will it be an outlet to talk about the sausage(s) I come across at drunk brunch? Do I want to continue down the road of one-night stands and random hookups. What, oh what, am I looking for anymore?
When I started blogging, I was content on sharing my fun and exciting forays between the sheets. Now, I don’t know. Yes, and no. To be perfectly honest, having someone — one person — there for you, knowing how they kiss, getting your individual rhythms in sync with each other… it’s nice. It’s really nice. And trading that in for a daily squeeze will be rough.
And that’s just when it comes to the sex.
I like B. I like B alot. And not having him around anymore will be rough. Except that, he still will be around. We co-exist in one social sphere, so there will be times when I see him once a week or so. Knowing that also sucks.
The way I see it is:
- I can let my inner sex craze run rapid. I can scream and shout (out of pure sexual exhilaration, of course) and let it all out (thank you, Britney) purely for entertainment.
- I could play the card of the scholar — learning, studying, understanding all that comes with love, lust, relationships, breakups, the works (which, oddly enough, seems slightly fascinating).
- I could tame my evil ways and start the search. You know, the search — for that special someone, my prince charming. But then again, I’m only 24, so what’s the rush.
Or I suppose, it could be a mix of the three. Eventually, one would take it’s place as the rightful king of the throne, and there it would be. Direction problems solved.
I guess. Maybe. Kinda. Or better yet, we’ll see tomorrow.